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Mama Knows Best - May 2016

Mama,
What do you think about this controversy over the transgender restrooms? Waiting in line to go

I do not know what the big deal is. It is a restroom. You go in, do your business, wash your hands, and leave. You do not have to interact with anyone. Besides transgender people look like you and me who the hell is going to tell the difference unless you peek? Then you’re a pervert! Times are changing if I can change so can everyone else. Do not be left behind. You do not want to be bringing up the rear especially when Eunice has gas. Now let’s flush this controversy!

Dear Mama,
Can you please tell me where to find love? Not signed

First look in the mirror, do you love that person? If you do then love will find you. If not then you need to love yourself first or no one else will. I am not Dr. Phil; if I was, I would be richer and nicer! Bring me a beer!

Mama,
What big things are happening with you on Mother’s Day? Iola Boyen nosey neighbor

Good Lord, I will be waiting all day because none of my three ungrateful children will think of me at all. I will be drinking a beer and wishing I was Carol Brady.


    Since it is Mother’s Day this month, I would like to tell a funny story about my mother. I was a teenager and it was Thanksgiving time. My mama would thaw the turkey out a week in advance. Then on Turkey Day she would get up at 2am just to prepare the turkey and put it in the oven.

    I was woken up by my mama making a commotion in the kitchen. Back then the turkey came frozen with all the gizzards in a bag in the cavity and around the legs were actually metal wires to keep them together. She was fighting trying to get the wire off the legs to remove the bags in the cavity. The wires were not budging.
    I stood in the doorway of the kitchen in shock. My mama had thrown the turkey in the sink and said you f***ing bird I am going to kill you. I had never heard her use the F-word in my life. I then pointed out to her that it was already dead.
    Please call or go see your mom on Mother’s Day! Happy Mother’s Day to all mamas. l

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Marcia McCoy, Ph.D.

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