Four retrograde planets upset our careful little world this May. Our thoughts may be muddled and our opinions may unleash large unintended consequences. But what the heck? Say it as you see it and shake your world.
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 20)
If you have been grumbling about the path that your career is taking and the idiots who you have to report into, expect a bit of push back now. Sapphic Rams yearn for success and are tired of waiting for the crumbs. Maybe it’s time to take your recipe and bake your own plans? If so, try to graciously extricate yourself from any tough situation. No scorched earth please.
TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
Travel will have detours and landscape changing surprises. So be prepared for anything and everything, queer Bull. If you have been bored by the ho-hum of your life, see how fast things can upend to something much more exciting. Will you find yourself on a cruise ship bound for the high seas or part of an exclusive club focused on traveling to “Out”er space? Let’s guess.
GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Pink Twins may think that they have all the right love moves but just wait. Your best moves may miss the mark or have an unintended impact on a lover. Try to be open and sensitive as you navigate the minefield of your amorous affairs. When in doubt, let others take action first. If you are both waiting, at least wait together in a champagne bath.
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
Relationships can go from fizzy to fizzle if you let deeply buried grievances take you into heartburn territory. Try to remain cool, calm and cuddly no matter how stressed you may be. But if you feel compelled to say something critical, practice your spiel in the mirror first. You want your message to be accepted. Even better, wait until the summer, gay Crab.
LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23)
Day-to-day tasks can either be a mindless escape or an overwhelming burden. Try to organize any project and enlist a few helping hands to ease your load. Proud Lions who can liven up any mundane task with a gay collection of people, food and drink will accomplish more than those who don’t. So try to mix your business with a little more pleasure now.
VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23)
Queer Virgos can go overboard in their pursuit of pleasurable times. (Maybe that is the idea?) Any party you plan can whip up to a frenzy festival. Any artistic project you undertake may become an international monster. Are you ready to tangle with the beast? If so, pace yourself before you make merry and try to control events as they unfold. Uh oh. Too late!
LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23)
Any home project that seems simple at first might not turn out to be very simple after all. But don’t panic, proud Libra. You can wrangle any out-of-control home improvement by taking your time and surveying the plan carefully. A few helping hands couldn’t hurt either. Especially if they apply the right pressure in the right places. Ahem.
SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22)
Whatever you have to say now, gay Scorp, let the thought swirl in your head before you release them. Not only will you sound far wiser this way, you will avoid any miscommunications or gaffes. In fact, give yourself a total rest from anything that requires concentration and diplomacy. Escape if you can. And if you can’t, try to be the strong silent type.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - DEC. 22)
Money may have a way of slipping out of your fingers and trickling down the drain now. You have an eye for extravagance and a yearning for glamour, but try to rein in your budget, if you can. Gay Archers may make some financial missteps now because they are not thinking clearly and are anxious for results. Ah, but what type of results?
CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20)
As you step up into the public eye, you may find that all is not what it appears to be. The public stage can swivel around and open up a trap door if you are not careful. Pink Caps always prefer to have things strong, steady and predictable. That may not be the case now. So be very flexible and keep your sense of humor. You DO have a sense of humor, don’t you??
AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 19)
Aqueerians think they have a bit of extra ESP now. This may be true. But, before you polish up and rub your crystal ball, ask yourself how accurate has your intuition been? Try to parse all of the little voices whispering in your head. You are getting many signals and premonitions. Some are serious and some are just for mischief and mirth. Oh ho, ho, ho.
PISCES (FEB. 20 - MAR. 20)
Friends may lead you into reckless, but fun, action. Everyone wants to have a good time! And your choices of diversions and parties are limitless now. But before you bungee jump off a skyscraper for just the sheer thrill of it all, take a look around and assess your risks. Guppies love to go with the convivial flow. Can you really stop before you circle the drain?